There is a theme I have written about on three separate occasions on this blog. It is based on Psalm 90. I may have approached the chapter from different angles, but the core of it has remained the same. It has been the desire, a call, a prayer to God to “satisfy [me].” Each time I have reflected on it, I have believed that I was in a season where such a prayer was necessary, and that is true. I just wonder why I find myself in such seasons so often because, right now, I feel like I am in one again, where out of the 1,301 things I can pray for, the one I keep coming back to is, “Satisfy me, Lord.” Despite being in this situation many times, I still believe it is what I need most right. Perhaps it is meant to be the theme of my life. Perhaps I have forgotten the lessons I drew out on previous time. Perhaps there is a lesson in it that I have not fully grasped. What could that be?

“Nothing is certain except death and taxes.” To that list, I would add wants, needs, cravings, urges, and desires. For as surely as the sun rises in the morning, these longings are ever present. Like hunger, my automatic reaction is to feed them. As I do with food, I may not eat at the first hint of hunger, but at some point I have to eat. So it is with these other longings; at some point, they need to be dealt with one way or another.

The world can and will offer a plethora of options to meet these appetites. Our inclination, my inclination, is to try to feed these longings with the things of this world. However, the deepest longings of your heart and mine will never be met by anything we can find here. I know this and I believe this. But there are more moments than I can admit when I have tried to find ultimate satisfaction in anything but God Himself. I have not gone out there and tried every wild thing to quench my need for satisfaction. I have, however, spent countless days not pursuing my satisfaction in God. I may not have been looking for satisfaction in “wild things,” but wherever I was looking, it was not in God. Consequently, the appetites and longings remain because they were meant to be ultimately satisfied by God Himself. Our hearts were created for eternal rather than temporal fulfillment. Only the Eternal One can fully satisfy us. As Saint Augustine said, “Our hearts are restless until they rest in You.”

As I look to the future, thinking about what life would look like with family, career, friends, and everything in between. As my emotions and desires continue to stir within me. As I walk through life and see things that make me feel as though I am missing something. As all these things happen, I hope I will continually turn my heart to find satisfaction in the Lord. As life flashes by, I hope my heart will not be swept up in the winds of desire.

So it may be in the morning or a random time when I am on my bike. Sometimes it is when I am cooking and other times when I just zone out. Whatever the moment, I have been finding myself whispering “Psalm 90 (Satisfy Us with Your Love)” by Shane & Shane more and more. My prayer is:

“When the sun comes up satisfy [me]
Before the day has passed [me] by
Before [my] heart forgets all Your goodness
Satisfy [me] with Your love.”

It is my prayer, my cry, my plea. I know the appetites will always be there. So my prayer is that I would find satisfaction in God. Before the day passes me by and I forget all of God’s goodness, I pray that I will be satisfied in Him. Nothing else ever will. Nothing else comes close. Nothing else was ever meant to.